I'll Try
by Epic F. Awesomesauce
Summary: Mwee hee hee, I won't put any spoilers in here about the plot... so all I can tell you is... that it's GerIta... MWAHAHAHA IT'S A MYSTERY SO READ IT! XD
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_**Feliciano**_

* * *

I am sick. Always have been, always will be. Leukemia is what I have. I've had it since... since forever. Since I was born, or maybe since before that. No one even knows how I've lasted so long. Thirteen years... thirteen years is a long time to lie in a hospital bed all day.

I didn't used to sit in a hospital bed all day long. I used to be able to go out. But the more time passed, the worse my leukemia got, until I could barely get out of bed. Fourteen years old and barely able to walk. At all. Sometimes I can manage it with help. Coughing so hard I practically die every time I move. This whole thing sucks, and I'm pretty much ready to just... let go already. I just want to let go. I just want to die already. There's no reason for me to keep living. I'm never going to get better.

I sigh and turn to look outside the window to my left. It's sunny outside. I still remember when I could go outside in the sun... it was brilliant. I would walk, I could feel fresh air on my skin, flowing through my hair. I could feel grass under my feet. I could feel the sun shining on my skin, straight on my skin and not through a window. I could walk without practically coughing up a lung.

I reach over to my bedside table and pick up my latest book. Some depressing novel my brother gave me. He only reads depressing novels, and then he thinks that I'll want to read them too. At least he means well.

I sigh and put the book back down. Maybe I could write my own book. Wouldn't that be nice? But I'd have to have a pen and paper for that. I don't think that's going to happen... I can barely hold a pen anymore. I could have my brother write it down for me, but he's got better things to do then write my words down.

Maybe I could have one of the nurses do it? But... I don't want to bother them... maybe I could just have someone pick up a better book. Or I could try watching TV, but... ugh, daytime TV sucks.

I turn slightly onto my side, then startle a bit as a bird flies past the window. What I'd give to be a bird... I could just fly away from here... I could be free... I wouldn't have to spend all my time stuck in here... wouldn't that be something...

One of the millions of birds fluttering through the air outside lands on my windowsill. It stares at me with its tiny, beady black eyes, chirping occasionally and cocking its head from side to side in the weird way that birds do.

"_Ciao!_" I say cheerfully to it, lifting up my hand and waving it a bit. I almost instantly drop it back down. It takes a lot of effort just to do that much.

The bird pecks lightly on the glass a couple times, then looks at me expectantly. "Do you want to come inside?" I ask it quietly. It pecks on the glass again. "Okay fine, I'll try to let you in, but you can't stay for too long. And it might take a while... I don't think that I can make it all the way over there, but I'll try." I press the button that makes the bed lift me up into a sitting position, and then I yank that blankets off of me and swing my feet over the side of the bed. Instantly I feel dizzy and nauseous- side effects of leukemia -so I wait a little while for it to pass. Once it's gone, I reach out and grab my bedside table, then heave myself to my feet. I sway unsteadily for a moment and gag a bit, but manage to not throw up all over the place. I walk unsteadily toward the window, still leaning heavily on the bedside table. I pause for a bit, then let go of the table and walk the three unsteady steps to the window. I nearly throw up as I lean on the sill, coughing and hacking from the effort of walking, and then I look up and stare at the bird.

"Hello," I say weakly. "I'm about to let you inside, okay? Just be patient. I can't move very fast." I take some deep, steadying breaths, closing my eyes to calm myself down a bit, and then open them again. I reach out, unlock the window, and pull out the screen. Surprisingly, the small bird just sits there and waits for me to do all of this, watching me intently. I reach out a hand and let it rest right in front of the bird. "Do you want to come in?" I ask it softly. "You can jump on my hand and I'll bring you inside, okay? I promise I won't try anything." The bird looks at me almost hesitantly, then hops slowly across the outside windowsill and right into my hand. I smile sweetly at it and bring my hand back inside, then slowly, carefully lower myself into one of those uncomfortable chairs they always have next to the windows in hospitals. I lean back in the chair and breathe deeply. The bird shifts awkwardly from small foot to small foot on my hand, and I giggle.

"That tickles, little bird," I tell it, opening my eyes to smile at it. It looks back at me and chirps, almost as if in reply, and I laugh again. "You're such a cute little bird! I hope we can be good friends!"

The bird ducks its head like it's shy.

"You're a little bit like my older brother," I tell it. "He's shy too, only he's a bit more..._ outgoing_ about his shyness."

The bird cocks his head to the side as if he's curious about what I mean.

"Well, he's just... he doesn't act _shy_, he acts_ mean_, but he's not really. He's just not very good at talking to people." I sigh. "I wonder if he'll get worse after I'm gone..."

The bird tilts its head to the side as if he's asking what I mean by "gone."

"Well, I have leukemia, and I'll probably die soon. I just hope that my brother isn't sad when I die. He doesn't deserve to be sad. Her deserves to be happy. That's why I keep telling him to finally admit that he's in love with Carmen, but he won't..."

The bird hops up my arm and onto my shoulder, then stares me straight in the eyes. The look on its little bird face seems to say, "Don't worry, it'll all be alright, I'll make everything better."

Suddenly I'm crying, because I don't want to die, no matter how much I act like it's okay, it's not okay. I don't want to die. I just want to be okay. I want to be able to walk outside again, and I want to watch as my brother laughs with his girlfriend, because I know they both love each other very, very much. I want to see my parents smiling at me once more, without that constant, lingering worry. They always look at me like... like I'm not all here, or I won't be here much longer.

Suddenly there's a gentle tap on my cheek. I blink the tears from my eyes and look up to see the bird staring at me once more. I reach up and wipe my eyes, then give the bird a watery smile. "Are you going to make it all better?" I ask, voice choked with tears. The little bird tilts its head to the side, then turns and flies away out the window. I watch after it, the blue sky blurring through my tears. For once, they're not sad tears, though. I know the bird will save me.

* * *

**A/N So, I've been wanting to write some GerIta lately, so here it is! I think it's gonna be a threeshot! X3**

**Also, I literally know pretty much nothing about leukemia except what I read online and how to spell it, so if you have any corrections or anything please tell me but... don't be mean about it? ^^ I don't react well to mean things. I'm naturally bitchy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Ludwig**

* * *

"Why can't you save him?" I ask, glaring furiously across the desk. My hands are splayed flat across the mahogany surface and I'm leaning too far forward to be polite, but I don't care anymore. I'm so angry... _so_ angry...

"I've already told you, Ludwig. He's not on my list. If he doesn't die then his brother, Lovino, will never write the great, life-changing, depressing novel that will revolutionize the way people-"

I stand up straight and run my fingers through my hair. I can't unsee it. I can't unsee Feliciano's beautiful, happy, horribly sad smile. He thought- he knew- he hoped that I would save him. But I can't. Well, I can, but I can't. It's not allowed. But I _want_ to.

...He started crying. He started crying when he was wondering what would happen to his brother once he had died. He didn't cry about himself dying... he cried about his brother's loss.

He doesn't deserve to die.

"Father... why can't I just... I just want to save him."

Father shakes his head, sitting up straight and stretching out his arms. He yawns, eyes closing, then looks at me again. "I said no, Ludwig. You can't save him. That's an order, you hear?"

I carefully make my face, mind, personality- everything -go blank. "Yes, Father." I turn and leave the room, to go to Feliciano, of course.

* * *

AYE**LUV**YOU

* * *

I peer through the window at the hospital room on the other side. Feliciano is sitting in his bed, flicking boredly through the channels. He coughs suddenly, and it is one of those coughs where you can't help but think that the person coughing is about to die. I wince as he finally heaves to a stop, tears in his eyes. He's breathing heavily, and hoarsely. I can hear him through the window. He looks so terribly lonely... I want to- I want to hold him, but more than that, I want to make it all better.

I pull away from the window a bit and change my shape into a bird once more, then move to tap on the glass. To my surprise, there is a small gap at the bottom of the window that, with a bit of squirming and squishing, I manage to get through. I hop onto the window sill inside of the room and chirp a couple of times. Feliciano jumps in surprise, but when he sees me a big, bright smile crosses his face.

"Ve, you're back, little bird!" he cries, wincing as the words grate against his sore throat. "I didn't know if I would ever see you again!"

I fly across the room and land on his bedside table, then examine the contents. Some water and some bottles of pills that Feliciano's probably not even strong enough to open.

"Guess what, little bird! Lovino is coming today! He's my brother! Did I mention that before? He's going to bring his friend Carmen." He leans forward conspiratorially, even going so far as to check around to see if anyone will hear him. I find myself chuckling innerly at him. _"He's actually got a HUGE crush on Carmen,"_ Feliciano whispers._ "He's just too shy to tell her."_ He leans back in his bed almost triumphantly. "I'm thinking of just telling Carmen how he feels about her so that they can just kiss already. I can tell that they both want to, but-" Suddenly he's overtaken but another huge bout of coughing. I hop worriedly onto his shoulder as he coughs, and then inconspicuously touch my beak to his cheek. Instantly the coughing stops.

"Ahem, sorry," he says apologetically. "That happens sometimes. It's a side effect of being sick."

I hold out a wing and brush it gently against his cheek. I feel the wrongness in his blood and I lessen it slightly, just slightly, just enough to make him a bit more comfortable. He reaches up and touches his chest very gently, as if he can feel the difference between his new health and his old health as well as I can.

"Wow... suddenly I feel much better... thank you, little bird." He turns and gives me a smile more angelic than anything I have ever seen- which is a pretty big feat considering I am an angel -and then reaches out and gently rubs the top of my head. "I like you, little bird. You make me feel whole again. That's something I haven't felt in a very long time."

I suddenly want to turn into my natural form and hold him tightly to my chest. I want to make all the hurt go away.

But Father said that I can't... Father said that I had to let him die or else all would not be well in the future.

I flutter off of the boy's shoulder and make for the window. I have to distance myself from him. Father said not to save him and save him I will not do.

But... that doesn't mean that I won't help him. Father never said I couldn't do that. And I won't even be disobeying him.

* * *

AYE**LUV**YOU

* * *

The next day I wake up bright and early- which is actually how it always is in heaven -and float down to earth. I don the guise of a normal human- my usual form: light skin, pale blue eyes, slicked-back blond hair and a muscular build, just without wings -and walk up to the hospital. I think I look around fourteen or fifteen, which isn't too old to be visiting a bedridden thirteen-year-old boy, is it? Well, let's hope not.

I walk down the street and into the hospital parking lot, then all the way to the entrance. I quickly move down the hall, avoiding all personnel and acting like I'm supposed to be here. What's Feliciano's room number again? Um... 315, I think. There's 309... 311... 313... ah, 315, here it is! I glance around quickly to make sure no one's looking, then open the door to room 315 and slip quickly inside. I turn and glance around the room to make sure that Feliciano's family aren't visiting him at the moment, then turn around and lock the door. Feliciano is asleep at the moment. He looks so skeletal and sick that he could almost be dead, and it scares me so much. I just healed him slightly yesterday, after all. Why does he still look so... terrible?

I step quietly over to him, just barely remembering to have my feet touch the ground. When I reach his bedside, I stare down at him. He should be breathing peacefully, but instead it's slightly ragged, his small chest heaving and jerking unnaturally. I cast a quick glance around to check for my fellow angels, then slowly reach out and press the palm of my hand flat against his chest. He heaves upward suddenly, taking a deep, slow breath, and then slowly lets it out. I keep my hand on his chest for a moment longer, then move it away. He is now breathing peacefully, a faint smile on his face. He suddenly looks much healthier. I hope it's not a noticeable enough difference that Father will figure out what I've done.

I turn around and head back towards the door, then freeze as a face appears in the small rectangular window that's set into the door. It's Lovino, Feliciano's older brother. He looks almost exactly how Feliciano would if he were healthy, except with darker hair and eyes and a pissed off expression that only ever softens around his brother. His dark brown-green eyes meet mine and widen slightly, then narrow. I can almost see as he reaches for the door handle and turns it, finding that it's locked. He turns it a couple more times, glaring furiously now, and I leap forward, turning beginning to fade away even as I unlock it. I transform myself into a spider and scuttle under the door as he turns the handle and runs into the room, looking around for me, mouth open and ready to yell for help. His eyes widen and his jaw drops and he beholds the empty room. Feliciano stirs gently in his bed, then turns on his side and continues sleeping.

"Lovino?" asks a soft voice very cautiously. A girl comes slowly through the door, then reaches out to take Lovino's hand in her own lightly tanned one. She has chocolatey brown wavy hair that reaches just past her shoulders, and it frames her face perfectly, also bringing out the color in her surprisingly green eyes. Even I'm struck by how pretty she looks (even in her random, torn up overalls and t-shirt) and I live with angels. I cast her a suspicious glance, wondering if she is, in fact, an angel, but then she trips suddenly, falling flat on her butt and pulling Lovino down with her, and all my suspicions are banished. Angels don't fall; we float.

"Carmen, be quiet, you might wake up Feliciano!" Lovino reprimands as Carmen giggles. She claps a hand over her mouth and looks around wildly to make sure that she didn't wake up Lovino's brother, even though Lovino was much louder than she was...

...Despite their worry, though, Feliciano stays deeply asleep, snoring in a quiet, endearing way. Lovino cautiously gets to his feet, then pulls Carmen up as well. She still has her hand clapped over her mouth as if she's trying to hold in her laughter, and the moment her green eyes meet Lovino's brown ones they burst into raucous laughter, trying anxiously to control themselves but unable to do so. Feliciano stirs once more in his bed, but sleeps on. I quietly scurry from the room, then turn into my ephemeral form and float back up to heaven. He'll be okay for now. They'll _all_ be okay.

* * *

**A/N I'M SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY I'VE BEEN GONE SO LONG. I WAS GROUNDED FOR TWO WEEKS. I COULDN'T EVEN WRITE (well, on the computer, and hand-writing SUCKS) AND YEAH IT WAS AWFULNESS. **

**Buuuuuuut I'm back now, and I've finished this (sorry if it sucks) and I'm planning to get caught up on my fanfics and post some original stuff on FictionPress and DeviantArt (possibly) and this other site called ReadWave, so that should be exciting. I haven't written original stuff in a while.**

**ANYWAYS. THAT'S ALL. REVIEW IF YOU WANT. OR NOT.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Feliciano**

* * *

"But Mom, I feel much better!"

"No buts! You went outside yesterday! Just because you've had this sudden burst of strength doesn't mean you can just use it all up. Let's try to make it last, okay?" Her stern expression melts into one of soft affection, and she leans in to place a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm sorry baby, but I want you to get better."

I sigh, a bit reproachfully, but finally give in. I sit back in my bed and let Mom tuck the blankets in around me. I lean back in bed and close my eyes, suddenly tired. She sits down in a chair that is located next to my bed, then hesitantly reaches out and grabs my hand in her own, gently stroking it with her thumb. Immediately I think back to when I was small and she would put me to sleep by stroking the top of my hand _exactly_ like this. I try to open my eyes, but I'm just so, so tired... so... tired...

* * *

AYE**LUV**YOU

* * *

I wake up suddenly to the sound of someone screaming. I have just enough time to glance around the room, heart racing, before a nurse comes running in, asking me frantically what's wrong. That's when I realize that _I'm_ the one screaming...

I close my mouth, then take a long, deep breath, chest heaving and jerking uncomfortably. I feel like I'm drowning on air. The nurse checks my vitals, then puts an oxygen mask on me, muttering all the while about how I was getting so much better. I gasp and heave, clutching at my blankets in an effort to steady myself as my lungs grasp for air almost of their own accord.

The nurse sets her hands on my shoulders, holding me still and looking me in the eyes. "Breathe..." she counsels gently. "Breathe, Feliciano... just breathe..."

Slowly but surely, my breathing calms down to a normal speed. My heart starts beating more and more slowly until, finally, I'm mostly back to normal. Well, as normal as I can be.

"There you go, honey... there, good job..." The nurse lets go of my shoulders and turns away. "I'm going to go get a doctor to come look at you, okay?"

"Mm," I answer. I don't pay attention as she leaves the room, instead focusing on my breathing. In, out. In, out. Iiiiiin, oooooooout. Iiiiiiiin, ooooou- HOLY HELL WHAT IS THAT?!

My breath catches in my throat as I stare at... at... what _is_ it, it just appeared there, in the corner of my bedroom, just standing there, staring at me. It almost seems to blend in with the shadows, as if it's not really there. Suddenly, it takes a step forward, and my whole entire body seems to fill with liquid fear. My breath comes out raspy and faint as I try feebly to get free of my blankets, to call back the nurse to come save me, to call out at all, to speak. I need to save myself. I'm going to die.

"H-h... hel..." I gasp and choke as the figure steps closer and closer to me. "He... h-help... help m-me... please-"

Suddenly there's a brilliant, blinding flash of light and the sound of all the electronics in the room overloading and fizzling out. My oxygen mask goes flying off just before it begins to pop and snap with electricity. The lights shatter, but, luckily, nothing lands on me. The random, too-bright light that suddenly filled the room cuts out suddenly, and a loud, deep voice rumbles like thunder in a language I can't understand. I quake in my bed, trying to breathe, but there's a tightness in my chest that makes it hard, too hard, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I'm going to die-

A hand lightly grasps my shoulder and suddenly my lungs inflate in a deep, long breath that goes in and out more smoothly than any breath of mine has in years. I blink my eyes to try to get used to the dark, and then nearly scream once more when a sudden, gently light flares out of the darkness, along with the sound of someone striking a match.

"Wh-who's there?" I ask, voice quaking but strong. I can't see much in the gentle, flickering light from the single match except the fingers grasping it. They're nice fingers, I suppose, and they look human, but I don't trust anything after what just happened.

"I'm sorry," says a gruff voice. "I accidentally broke all the lights in here. Wait a moment, please." The fingers holding the match let go, and I jump in fright at first, then just stare in wonder as the match floats above my bed. Another match is struck, and then another, and another, until the entire room is filled with little, flickering matches that are, for some reason, not burning out.

By the light of these matches, I see the person the gruff voice belongs to. It's a man- well, no, more like a boy -with slicked-back blond hair, piercing blue eyes, and a strong, sturdy form. The thing that attracts most of my attention, though, are the boy's _wings_: Long and white, they protrude from the back of his tight black tank top, stirring up a slight breeze every time he moves, making the thousands of matches flicker wildly, but never making them go out.

"Y-y-you... wings... What are you?!" I gasp, unable to look away from them. I can see individual feathers even in this feeble lighting, and they look so soft and downy that I want to touch them.

"I'm Ludwig," the boy says, staring at me with an almost hungry expression on his strict, rather handsome face. "I'm an angel of the Lord."

I finally manage to look away from his wings to stare at him, eyes wide open, for once. "An... an angel of the Lord? Then... why are you here? Don't you have important angel stuff to do?"

"I do. _You_ are my important angel stuff."

"What was that... that thing that was in here before you came?"

He hesitates for a fraction of a second before saying, "That was a demon. It came here to kill you. I came to stop it."

I frown. "Why would it want to kill _me_? I'm nothing. I'm no one."

He shakes his head slightly, then reaches out slowly, very slowly, and brushes my hair from my face. My breath catches in my throat and a sudden wave of wellness rushes through me.

"You're not nothing," he says softly. "You're very important."

I stare at him, hardly daring to believe that he's just said what he did. _No one_ thinks that I'm important- well, except Lovino, Mom, Dad, and possibly Carmen, but they're family, so I don't think that that counts.

"I... I can't be important," I insist. "I'm just some little kid who's dying of leukemia."

"That's what everyone _thinks_," he tells me, moving to sit in the chair next to my bed. "But, in actuality, you are very important. That's why the demons want to kill you; they want to end your life before you have a chance to do anything important."

I frown. "Important? What important- what's so important about _me_?"

He smiles. It's small and, on anyone else, it would seem uncomfortable and fake, but I can tell that it's the biggest, brightest smile he's practically ever produced.

"I've been watching you, Feliciano Veneziano Vargas, and you are not as unimportant as you think. You are kind and you are good and you care, and I am certain that you will grow up to do great and wonderful things."

"But-"

"No, listen to me, Feliciano. You won't be seeing me after tonight, okay? Not ever again. Don't try looking for me either."

A sudden emptiness fills my chest. "Where will you be?"

He hesitates, then speaks in a slow, careful voice. "I... will be somewhere that no angel has ever gone." He looks at me searchingly for a moment, then begins speaking in a quick, businesslike tone. "Feliciano, soon more angels will be coming to visit you. Whatever you do, don't- I repeat, _don't_ -let them touch you. Tell them you're mine now. Tell them they can find me at the Rock of Prometheus."

"But Ludwig-"

"Feliciano, do you understand? Repeat everything I just said back to me."

"Where are-"

"Come on, Feli, we don't have much time!"

I think it's the use of my nickname that finally gets me to stop protesting. Or maybe it's the fact that he sounds so heated all of a sudden.

"More... more angels will come. I'm to tell them that I-I'm yours-" I feel my face heat up embarrassingly. "-and that they can find you at the Rock of Prometheus."

"Good. If they try to touch you, just repeat that you're mine and where they can find me. If they insist on staying in the room with you, pray to me, okay?"

"Pray to you?"

"Just clasp your hands together and say something like, 'Ludwig protect me.'"

I blush again. "Ludwig, where will you be-"

He jerks his head towards the window suddenly, staring out with a dark intensity, then turning back to me. "I'm sorry, Feli, but I have to go."

"But why-" I'm cut off as he leans forward suddenly, pressing his lips to my forehead. A sudden warmth fills me from the ends of my hair to the tips of my toenails. I close my eyes and revel in it, and when I open them, all that's left of Ludwig is a pearly white feather resting atop my blankets. I pick it up, then slowly look around the room. Suddenly, I feel completely empty and alone, like there was a light in my chest and it suddenly went out.

* * *

AYE**LUV**YOU

* * *

A couple minutes pass with no hint of Ludwig or other angels. My eyelids begin to droop sleepily, and I vaguely wonder where that nurse who left a while ago is. I blink open my eyes and begin to stretch, then shriek as at least ten shadowy forms appear in the room. One of them moves quickly toward me, hand outstretched as if to touch me. I clasp the pure white feather Ludwig left behind tightly to my chest, then blurt out, "I'm Ludwig's, you can't touch me. Go meet him at the Rock of Prometheus! I'M LUDWIG'S! He's at the Rock of Prometheus!"

The shadowy form stops in its tracks, then turns around and seems to discuss things with the other shadowy forms in a language that isn't anything I'm familiar with.

"You're... Ludwig's?" the shadowy form asks, turning back to me. I nod emphatically.

"Yes yes yes, that's what he told me to tell you, and also that he was at the Rock of Prometheus, and he gave me some other instructions but I don't think that I will tell you because he never told me to tell you, so I'll just keep quiet."

There's silence for a moment, and then the shadowy form steps toward me. I squeak and try to back away, but I'm sitting in a bed, which makes it rather hard. Well, impossible, really. The form reaches out a hand, fingers reaching dangerously close to my skin. I try to lean away, but I can't lean any farther, and then, suddenly, the feather in my hand begins to glow and grow warm in my hands. A sudden spark zaps from the feather, landing right in the form's outstretched hand. Instantly, it starts screaming and flailing about, and then suddenly disappears. I stare at the spot it was just occupying, then stare back at the feather. Whoa. Ludwig is way cool.

There's a small pause, and then one of the other shadowy forms says, "We are leaving now to meet Ludwig. Two of us will be staying here with you. Is that agreeable?"

I nod slowly. "Y-yeah... I'm good with that..." I watch, wide-eyed, as all but two of the shadowy forms suddenly disappear. I sit there for a moment, then tell them that I'm going to sleep now. They don't react at all, but I get the distinct feeling that they're watching me.

I fall asleep with the feather wrapped in my hands, feeling safe and protected.

* * *

AYE**LUV**YOU

* * *

Weeks pass. I am soon let out of the hospital. I have healed as if by a miracle. Everyone is happy.

I am waiting for Ludwig, though he told me we would never meet again.

Years pass. Carmen and Lovino get married almost as soon as they get out of high school. Carmen goes to college to study to be a doctor. Lovino begins to spend less and less time with people other then Carmen; he is writing an epic novel, apparently.

I am still waiting for Ludwig.

More years pass. _I_ get out of high school and start college. I am trying to find a cure to cancer that _isn't_ and angel. Carmen and Lovino have a beautiful baby boy that they name Antonio. He has bright green eyes and dark brown hair and is a happy-go-lucky sort of man. Lovino is nearly done with his novel; Carmen is a doctor. I watch Antonio for them quite often- whenever I'm not looking for a cure for cancer.

I wait and wait for Ludwig. I pray every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up.

I pray to him.

More years pass. I date a couple guys, a couple girls, but none of them seem quite right. I'm consumed by my search for a cure. Carmen and Lovino have another child, a little girl they name Louise. Somehow, she turned out with blond hair, blue eyes, and a serious face. She's adorable, and I watch her and Antonio, now a sweet little eight-year-old, as often as I can while Carmen is off saving lives and Lovino is doing stuff to do with his book, which is a worldwide bestseller.

And _still_ I wait for Ludwig. I've nearly lost hope. But I won't ever truly give it up.

More and more and more years fly by. Antonio is twenty, Louise twelve. Lovino and Carmen are nearly fifty. Carmen has saved hundreds of lives; Lovino has three bestsellers and is nearly universally famous. The world starts to get its act together, accepting gay relationships, making gay marriage legal, giving equal rights to everyone, be they black, white, male, female, trans, Muslim, Christian, whatever.

I finally discover the cure for cancer.

The world seems to be turning over a new leaf.

I still wait for Ludwig.

Antonio is twenty-eight now, Louise twenty. Antonio gets married to a man named Romano. Louise is trying to decide if she is more interested in guys or girls. They both have good jobs- Louise as a scientist, Antonio as a reporter.

And then, a terrorist group rises from the heart of America, starting World War III. Life begins to go in a downward spiral.

I still pray to Ludwig. I pray, and pray, and pray. I pray for him to save us.

I don't know if my prayers reach him, but World War III ends, bringing with it what seems to be universal peace.

More years pass. Lovino dies, then Carmen. Antonio and Romano move to Japan for some reason. Louise moves to Greece with her girlfriend, Felicia.

I am old now. Old and moldy. I have nothing to do, now that I have cured cancer. So, I sit in my nursing home, reading Lovino's books over and over again.

I am still waiting for Ludwig.

But he never comes.

* * *

**A/N Heh, you think THIS is bad? Just wait: There's an epilogue. *smug, evil grin* Yes, I know, this will kill every single one of you. That was my plan from the beginning. X3 Well, sorta. I knew it'd end badly.**


	4. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

I do the best I can to make everything okay, but I have to strike a deal: Eternal punishment for Feliciano's life. I ruined the course of human events as it should have been and because of that, I deserve punishment worse than what Prometheus got. My wings are ripped off, and I am sent hurtling to Earth. I never land. I fall and fall and fall and fall, but never land.

After an undeterminable amount of time, I am set free from my never ending freefall. I am ripped of my angel status, though they leave me with the memory of it, and am sent down to Earth as a baby.

Everything is strange when you're a baby. Sights and sounds and smells and colors all overwhelm my brain, making me cry because it's too confusing. Sometimes the light hurts, and sometimes the dark is too scary to look at, and it's too cold all the time. At least I'm wrapped in blankets and held most of the time, but it's still cold and scary, especially since I _know_ how to talk but can't form the words.

As I age, I slowly grow distant from the angel memories I have. I am still one personality, but it's like there are two versions of it living in one body: The angel version and the one-year-old version. Even though my true self grows far away, I still notice something: My uncle is Feliciano. He is older now, and looks worn, like all the hope he once had was taken away from him. I know exactly why, of course... but there's nothing I can do to help him. My angel self can't speak, and my young self doesn't know who he is, who _I_ once was.

My Father is clever. He has devised the ultimate punishment: Watching as Feliciano grows old and weary of life while I am young and unable to help.

It goes on forever.

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**A/N Well... Lame ending is lame. *shrugs* At least I've finally finished it, yeah? Yeah.**

**Anyway, if there was anything you didn't understand about this, PM me or leave a review.**


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